How to stop being so hard on yourself

How to stop being so hard on yourself

Hey Bloomers! 🌼💛 “There is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so do not expect yourself to do so” ~ Liryae. This blog post looks at how to stop being so hard on yourself.

Falling short of your expectations

In the pursuit of self-improvement, there are times when you will fall short of your expectations. Self-improvement can take multiple forms, some minor, and others major. Nevertheless, they are all important in you feeling that you’re working towards being the best version of yourself. Eating one fruit a day and working on time management skills are examples of self-improvement goals, albeit different in terms of the dedication and energy that goes into meeting them. Whatever the self-improvement journey you are on, remember to be kind to yourself when you fall short of your expectations. This is especially important when the goal you have set for yourself is more complicated.

There are times when you will think that you have it all figured out, only to realise that you still have a lot more growing to do. Guess what? That’s okay! The fact that you’re able to notice where you’re going wrong is not a drawback, instead, it’s a powerful thing. It means that you possess self-awareness and are willing to grow. Of course it’s frustrating to see yourself going back to an old pattern after working so hard to get over it. However, the fact that you had been away from it for a while is something to give yourself credit for.

An example of how to stop being so hard on yourself

Using the time management example mentioned earlier:

Tanya is extremely busy and to ensure that she gets all her work done and still finds time to rest, she needs to start on her two newest projects as soon as she receives them. In the past, waiting for a later date has proven to result in her being under a lot of pressure and feeling overwhelmed. For that reason, Tanya begins to work on one of the projects as soon as she receives it. However, she lacks motivation along the way and decides that she will start on the second project a little later. Fast forward Tanya finds herself in the situation that she was trying to avoid all along. The work has piled up and she’s now under pressure

The solution

In this situation, it’s easy for Tanya to be hard on herself and beat herself up because she ended up in the same position she never wanted to be in again. However, it is worth noting that she DID have some improvement in this area of her life by starting one of the projects early. So she doesn’t have to be so hard on herself. What she can do instead is learn something from the situation regarding how to better handle it in future. She needs to figure out what exactly resulted in her backtracking from her goal, so that she doesn’t find herself in that situation again. 

How to stop being so hard on yourself? Remember that you are human. Use this feeling and experience to learn how to better handle the situation in future.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Attributed to Albert Einstein

HOWEVER, and very importantly, while it’s important to spread the message of how to stop being so hard on yourself, it would be a disservice to also not spread that of too much leniency.

Don’t be too lenient either

This is the perfect way to phrase it: don’t be too hard on yourself, but don’t be too lenient on yourself either. You have to find a healthy medium. If you’re too easy on yourself you might as well wave goodbye to your self-improvement goals. Goals need work and dedication in order to be achieved. You need to be firm with yourself and ruthlessly go after what you desire. Not being too hard on yourself simply means that sometimes you won’t be successful. That is not a reason to be unkind to yourself. Go after everything you want with everything you have. You are capable of achieving whatever you put your mind to. Don’t be too hard on yourself but don’t be too lenient either. Find balance. 

Conclusion on how to stop being so hard on yourself

I hope you find the balance necessary for you to not be so hard on yourself while still ruthlessly going after what you desire. There is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long, but when it’s time to bloom, do it like the Bloomer that you are ☺️

Sending you lots of love and light, Bloomers 💛🔆🌼

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7 replies on “How to stop being so hard on yourself”

What we say to ourselves and how we say it matter a lot. Therapy has helped me realise that. I’ve noticed that I used to be very harsh on myself. Now even when I criticise myself I try to do it in a positive manner.

Thanks Ruva as always. The balancing part is what I need to work on. And thanks for the advice on how to go about this. Always appreciate your insights.

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