Hey Bloomers! 🌼 This is a four worded question that has enough power to mess up one’s life and future, as well as suppress any potential. We live in a world full of opportunities that can drastically improve our lives. These could be in the professional as well as personal spheres. It’s impossible to fully tap into your potential and reach a place where you’re genuinely happy, and crushing your goals if you keep asking yourself this question: what will people say?
The answer is…
Whatever they want to say. It’s impractical for a person to want a life where nothing negative is ever said about them. The reason a person asks them self this question in the first place is because they know and acknowledge the fact that there will be some negative reactions to the things that they want to do. That, and I cannot stress this enough, is NOT a reason to stop going forward with plans.
The key is to know that things will be said, but that’s none of your business. Your business is your goal and your happiness. People may try to belittle your vision and cast their doubts on you, but that too is none of your business. Your business is your game plan and confidence in yourself. You’re never going to be able to control the things people say about you (even if you attempt to by asking yourself this four worded question). But you can definitely control the things you say about yourself, to yourself. Because the single most important person that you’re responsible for taking care of is yourself. Basically, the idea is to reach a place where you fight for the things you want, without being so concerned about what the rest of the world thinks.
Understanding the origin
As with many other obstacles, reaching a place where people’s opinions hold no weight over one’s life may be easier said than done. It’s therefore important to understand why we are wired to care about what other people think of us. Because from that information, we can find the appropriate ways to overcome that hurdle. A doctor can’t effectively treat a patient without a diagnosis.
I am going to leave links to some really informative articles, but here are a few words from a Medium article that summarise it perfectly:
Back in the hunter-gatherer days, if you disagreed with a tribe member, and the tribe decided to kick you out, you were essentially all on your own. That was a tricky place to be. Without the support of your tribe, survival would be next to impossible. Hence, it was extremely important to care about what your tribe thought. Well, now, we don’t all live in survival mode anymore. Civilization has advanced to a great degree. Thankfully, the majority of us don’t worry about survival on a day-to-day basis.
Articles to better understand this concept
- Medium: caring about what others think.
- Psychology Today: why we care about what others think of us… and what we could gain if we stop.
As civilisation has advanced, our mindsets too need to advance. Someone’s opinions are not going to necessarily affect whether or not one is going to survive. Strangers on the internet, people one may “know”, and even family and friends’ opinions, thoughts and “what they are going to say” should not be given so much weight that they make a person stagnant in life. A valuable question to ask is: “If I was the only person that existed, would I go on with this plan?” Because you are the MAIN CHARACTER in your life and chances not taken are not going to affect anyone else BUT YOURSELF.
Tips for changing this mindset 🧠💫
1. Think of yourself as the author of your story
At the end of your life, do you want your story to be the perfect reflection of who you were and what you wanted? A story of all the risks you took and journeys you embarked on because that’s what made YOU happy and fulfilled. OR do you want your story to be a mixture of things written by many other people because you were too scared to write for yourself? This is one of the instances in life where you really have to go YOLO 🤟🏾 and make the most of the one life you have been given by living for yourself.
2. Have confidence in your actions and decisions
When you’re confident in what you’re doing, what anyone else thinks doesn’t matter. Your vision and the way you desire to live have been implanted in your mind, heart and soul for a reason. Reaching a place where you’re confident with the decisions that you’re making is a great way to stop worrying about what anyone else thinks, because you see what they don’t. Sometimes people care about what others will say as a result of fear of failure. Be so confident that even if you fail, you’ll pick yourself up and try again, or go on to the next thing. Like I said, what people say about you is none of your business. Your business is your game plan and confidence in yourself.
3. And lastly, just 👏🏾 stop 👏🏾 caring 👏🏾
Sometimes it’s really that simple. We care too much about things that don’t deserve even a percentage of our attention. When a person starts caring about the things that actually MATTER to them and have a positive impact on their life, they will stop worrying so much about what other people have to say. In fact, everyone has been given their own life to live. So just focus on your own, stay in your lane, and do your thing (exception to this is when you’re fighting for other people of course).
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