Finding the balance between self-love and bettering yourself

The connection between these two concepts is simple: in order to better yourself, you need to first love yourself. It’s principal to accept who you are and love yourself for it. All your strengths, weaknesses, powers, and flaws. Only through loving who you are, can you tap into the magnificent world of bettering yourself.

Your point of departure when trying to figure out this balance is looking at the motivation for wanting to better yourself. Bettering yourself means changing certain aspects about who you are. Ask yourself this question: Why do I want to do this? And reflect on it. Deeply. Thoroughly. The desire to change oneself can come from either a positive ✅ or a negative ❌ place. A positive place would mean that you’re generally a person who enjoys evolving, growing and transforming. You’re always excited to become a better version of yourself. And that’s fantastic. That’s where the desire to change oneself should come from.

However, this need can also come from a negative place, and this place is called hatred. In this place, you hate the way you react to situations, so you decide to change. You hate the way your body looks so you decide to change. And as common sense would tell you, nothing good comes out of hatred. When you start from a place of hatred, you never reach satisfaction. It will always seem so near, but you can’t get your hands on it.

So that’s the secret. In order to better yourself (and have successful results), you need to first love yourself. For instance, you could be unhappy with the way you react to situations and develop a hatred for your emotional reactions. But you have to accept that you’re an emotional or sensitive person and start to love that person. Because that is who you are. This will lead you to one of two roads.

The first road is realising that your “flaw” is actually a strength, and you have to embrace it. In this case, embracing the fact that you’re a sensitive person and coming to a realization that your sensitivity helps you to deal with problems in a healthier manner, instead of bottling up emotions. The second road is loving yourself so much that you want to improve on certain aspects of your life. And this love involves calling yourself out. “I love myself so much that I will not allow myself to be controlled by my emotions”. And then you start to work on it. Or “I love myself so much that I’m going to work on my body and become the healthiest version of myself”. Transforming. Evolving. Growing. Change from a positive place. From a place of love and light.

If your decision to change comes from a place of hatred, you might actually not end up bettering yourself. Hatred is a never-ending cycle. If you’re changing the way you act or look because you hate yourself, you will never be satisfied. You will continue to try and reach a better version of yourself, but it will never be enough. You will never be happy with your results. And you will always chase more.

Remember, the goal is to be happy. And choosing hatred will not lead you to happiness. Choosing to love yourself is definitely the more difficult route to take, but once you have mastered it, it will have a permanent impact. I will dedicate a different blog post to learning how to love yourself. You can become a better version of yourself. But it should always come from a place of love. ❤️💓

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