Hey Bloomers! 🌼 Many of us are guilty of the issue that is going to be discussed in this blog post: making random life predictions and then becoming highly affected when they are not achieved. This ranges from the little things such as “I am going to go through three chapters today” to more significant things like “I am going to have a house by 30”. It’s important not to measure your value against these statements or leave no room for disappointment because it’s okay to deviate from time frames.
The negative side of time frames
The issue with many of these predictions is that they are random. A person just wakes up and decides that they’re going to achieve something in a given time frame. Usually, there is no research done in order to reach this conclusion, it just is. It’s just a random time frame that one comes up with. Due to the lack of research and intense planning, it should be accepted that there is a chance that these things won’t happen in the allocated time frame.
With the smaller things, it of course doesn’t make sense to do detailed research as to how long an activity will take (as this may end up taking even more time). However, with the larger goals, it may be important to look into all the different factors that may affect the time frame, and then act accordingly. And even when this is done, one should still be aware in the back of their minds that life throws curve balls.
The effect on self-confidence
Random time frames sometimes result in people hurting their own feelings and trampling on their self-confidence. And when you think of it, these would have been problems of their own making. Someone would have randomly convinced them self that they will have a house by age 30. When they don’t, they’re hurt. This negates the fact that we can’t truly, accurately, predict how our lives are going to turn out. In fact, we can’t accurately predict what will happen in the next hour. That is why the goal that a student will study three chapters is just that, a goal. It may happen, and it may not happen. And that’s okay.
The role that society plays
When it comes to the discussion of larger life goals, it’s important to be aware of the role that societal pressure sometimes plays. As an example, young adults are expected to have graduated in their early 20s. This then, would be a prediction that one makes for their life based on the pressures that the world is putting on them. As stated in a previous blog post, we don’t have to live life the same. If we all followed the same course in life, that would make us a boring population, wouldn’t it? One needs to ensure that the decisions and predictions that they’re making for their life are based on their OWN desires, instead of trying to please other people.
Therefore, we need to start speaking to ourselves with kindness. Saying things like “I will do my best to go through three chapters today, but it’s okay if that doesn’t happen”. And “I will do my best to have a house by 30, but it’s okay if that doesn’t happen”. Because that is all you can ever truly ask of yourself; your best. You might now be wondering why the sentence has been phrased in this way, instead of just removing the random life predictions altogether. This is because random time frames do serve a purpose, and that is to focus us in a productive direction.
The positive side of time frames
Most people in life want to achieve certain things as this may help them live out their purpose. For that reason, they have to move in a productive direction, and not wander around aimlessly. Setting goals, even if they’re random, pushes them to take steps in order to improve their life. Therefore, instead of aimlessly studying, having a goal of finishing three chapters will put more structure to the studying process. Or, instead of broadly “wanting a successful life”, having a house by 30 could be a manifestation of this successful life. Putting time frames will then ensure that one is not relaxed and expecting their dreams to be fulfilled whenever it happens. It means that they will work hard and smart in order to achieve that goal in the given time frame. So, time frames do serve a purpose.
The problem is the lack of realisation when it comes to the fact that most of these predictions are random, and “failure” to meet the time is not actually failure, but should rather be seen as a postponement of the end goal. In fact, without the time frames, the goal would probably have taken a much longer time to be achieved.
The best thing to do is to look at these predictions as a rough outline instead of the final piece. That way, if adjustments have to be made, they can be made easily.
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